Level up!

Ja jaaang, yours truly.

               This is Randy, or Meng Meng (that's what I call him. Heh)                    And this is the ever pretty Desiree.

Okay, this is the first time i'm uploading my own photos on my blog.

Yaay (?) I'm 20.
HAHAHA.

But seriously, thanks Meng and Riri for the surprise, cake and present.
And also the lame excuses and acting. HAHAHA.

Why I love them?
This group of people, they never fail to come up with all sorts of wacky ideas for birthday surprises.
Oh before that, this group of people consists of..
Desiree
Meng
Le Zheng
Sin Hui
Anqi
Mok
Xiang Lin
Jaryl
And a few more which am not sure whether to mention their names or not. Oh well.


This group of friends,
I came to know them when I was in UTAR.
We all started together.
But wow, 2 years down the line and most of us are..separated.
Some came, some went..
And the list changes...



I won't say I expected more, but yeah this small gathering of the three of us is more than enough.
Totally understand those who can't make it.
Cause we are all....


separated....



IT'S OKAY, we can still keep in touch via social networks. Heee.





But deep down inside I am..disappointed.
Over someone else.
I waited...for you.
Where were you?
Your wish would be sufficient.
I wish I could learn to not put so much hope in you.
Indeed disappointed. 
That's why, never put so much hope in someone that you have just got to know.
Lesson learnt.



Actually I don't know what to write.
I just felt like writing cause..it's something to be celebrated?
HAHAHA.

So, I've survived another year.

Another year has passed by so quickly.

Let's pray for the remainder of the year, 

and may things go well. 

Alright? :)

Unfathomable.

I'm worried, but I'm glad.

I'm sad, but I'm happy,

I'm confused, I don't understand.

I hope to, and I want to.


To see you.


Everyday.



What is this?

Who are you to me?

What is this.. feeling?





"How are you?"

"What are you doing?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Morning."

"Night, sleep tight."







"...do you feel the same way as I do?"






I know, I should not put too much hope in you.

In fact, I should not put any hope in you.

Why should I, why would I?

It's absurd.

It's futile.

It's  
  .
  .
  .  


impossible. 







Stop playing games with me already, alright?

I'm getting tired of it.

Save me from all the heart aches, okay?

Randomness number 88.

Woot woot.

's been a while since an update. Oh well, nobody reads any ways.

My place to rant everything. Haha.


Been away from KL for 2 weeks - internship at RSK Ulu Kinta, Perak.

Oh just to make things clear, many people think of Tanjung Rambutan as a place for cuckoo people. Well, let's get facts straight.
1. Tanjung Rambutan is the name of an AREA, not the name of the mental hospital.
2. The name of the mental hospital is HBUK (Hospital Besar Ulu Kinta, Tanjung Rambutan).

Well, this place is pretty spacious heh. There are staff living in the area.
I don't know how many hectares of land is the hospital, but heck yeah there are lots of space for you to run and feel the wind.

The nursing home (RSK UK) - there's a very peaceful ambience over there. Prolly cause it's near the mountains.

It's quite windy over there at night, and cool night breeze - something you'll never be able to get if you live in this concrete jungle Kuala Lumpur.

The air there is seriously different - you can breath in fresh, cool air in the morning, with visible drops of morning dew on the grass. Precious.

Being there for 2 weeks, I've got to know some tenants there.

As a reflective diary, I really thank God that my parents are still in the pink of health.

One thing, if one ever work in nursing homes, one must have a slightly hardened heart.

Going for carolling really has trained my heart to be a bit tougher - I tried not to be too attached with the tenants there so that when I leave, I don't go with a heavy heart. And when you talk with them, they might have to tendency to start tearing up.

One uncle who was just admitted cried when we interviewed him. I still remember what he said in Chinese.
Translation: "Why am I so useless. I'd rather die than live. Please let me die"
This uncle had a VERY mild stroke, and his strength of his R UL and LL is mostly 3 or 4.

Oh, let me explain.
0 - no movement at all.
1- slight twitch of muscle.
2 - can move in gravity eliminated position.
3 - can move against gravity.
4 - can move against minimal resistance.
5 - can move against maximum resistance.
MMT. lol.

He...was very sad and thus the tears. My prayer goes to you uncle. But heck yeah he has a very strong spirit - wants to get well. He shows very good effort in trying to get well when doing exercises. He really wish that he could stand again.


HAHAHA okay I think this is too much. Very long post. Very very much more to talk, but even I don't know what I am writing.

Hahaha okay then, till the next update!
Ciao.

Sentimental crap.

Saturday, 25th May 2013. Hot day.

Whoa.
The first thought as I saw my diary.


Okay maybe that wasn't a diary, cause I wrote one page and abandoned it till I found it earlier.

It says,
"30th May 2011, First day of Uni."




I went blank.

That was what I wrote 2 years ago.

And look where I am at today.

I'm in a different college, halfway through my diploma.

Wow.




WOW.

So much happened in these 2 years.

I couldn't help but to stop packing, and sat down and started thinking.


Of all the people that I've met in these 2 years.
New friends from uni and college.
Making the effort to keep in touch with high school friends.
Primary school friends? Urm.

Wow, just WOW.


Pretty random update.
Can't think much.
Too sentimental.
Too much happened.


"People come, people go. Important ones will make an effort to stay."


LOL what.
Ok bai, till the next update.

Hospitals.

One step,
Two steps,
Three steps.

A place of emotions -

Joy.

Sorrow.

Pain.

Anger.

Fear.

Anxiety.

HOPE.


What hope?

Hope for a better day tomorrow?

Or is it another day to endure?

Another day of suffering?




Hospitals.

As a healthcare provider student, I always have mixed feelings when going to the hospital.


The first one is where I enter a hospital as a student - to gain new knowledge, to learn, to help people.

But the other one is where I enter the hospital as a visitor.


And nope, I don't like this feeling.
You see them at their lowest.

What is going to happen to them?

What comes after this?

..After tonight?

....The next morning?

What can you do when you see them?

Worry for them?



Yes people do have their ups and downs,
And being in the hospital (no matter you or someone you know!) is where they are at one of their lowest point.


I really don't know - I couldn't bear to look at my friend for too long. 


Father LORD, 
Only You know how that person's condition is.
No matter what happens, 
Father LORD you lay Your healing hands upon this person, 
Be with this person as this person goes through one of the lowest points of life.
Instil in this person the confidence that tomorrow will be a better day, 


Psalm 23:4 
"Even though I walk 
 through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil, 
for You are with me; 
Your rod and Your staff, 
they comfort me." (NIV)



This, my friend, is a verse for you.
You might not know of Him,
but call upon Him, and He will listen.



All this I ask and pray in His mighty and precious name,
Amen.

Someday, someday.

That's it.

I've had enough.

Father Lord, what is this?

I don't understand.

Not the slightest bit or part of it.

What are you trying to do?

Dah cukup sentap ni. Yelah yelah.

Do lah whatever you want.


Pretty fun huh when everything clashes and everything goes wrong at the same time,

and seems to be so many things happening at wrong timings.

*Credits to the owner of the pic. I do not own the pic.

I don't know.

Yes I have seen this image before. 

And as I write this, this image seems to pop up in my mind. 

Oh well.

Father Lord, unto You I cast all my worries. 

Unto You I cast all my brokenness.

Only You understand what is going on.

And how I feel.

And someday, someday. I might understand.

Please, pretty please.

What?

I don't know how.

I don't know why.

I don't know when.




But I know who.



A very big possibility that none of you might read this,

Or even know that this post ever existed.



Hey you.

You're making me mad.

Not mad that you're hiding stuff from us.

But making them worry.

So please, pretty please.



You know how to make them stop worrying.

Well, what are you still waiting for?

(Credits to the owner of the pic, I do not own the pic)

Now that 1% of it has been made known to me,

Bear in mind that you will always be in my prayers.


We might not be able to do anything,

But I do believe that He will.

And He will have His way, a purpose that we will never understand.




Do keep in mind,

We'll be with you no matter what happens.

Though thick and thin.

Okay?

--No. Don't take all the time you need.

Please do what is right.

IMMEDIATELY.

Part II: Chapter 2 - Amen.

Tomorrow's the day.

Have you ever seen how a caterpillar slowly spins silk around itself and becomes a cocoon?

And then they undergo metamorphosis and become beautiful butterflies.

Then they morph into eagles and at the final stage they finally become dragons?

LOLOLOL.

Okay the last part is bullsh*t, I'm just merely telling how your nervousness slowly builds as a date for something important approaches.

"Father Lord,

As we all know, all good comes from You, and the bad happens for a reason.

You take away the fear,

For everything is under Your control.

So many decisions to make, so many uncertainties ahead.

You take lead, Father Lord.

And be my guide - not only for me, but for all your beloved sons and daughters.

Unto You I commit this heavy load."

Part II: Chapter 1 - Chocolate cake.

*Pitter patter, pitter patter*

As the rain kept falling, a cake was in the making.

It was a chocolate cake, with melted chocolate.

Served with ice cream and drizzled with chocolate.

There was no occasion on that day.

There is no need for an occasion to bake a cake.

But there could also be cakes for special occasions.

Birthdays, weddings, or simply just to end that craving of yours.

....

But he forgot.

There was indeed an occasion.

It was her birthday.

Happy birthday?

....

Or if you look at it from another point of view..

Cake is a type of dessert. Plus it's a chocolate cake.

So..it could also be seen as a kind of comfort food?

So when does one need comfort food the most?

When you need to de-stress?

..Or is it when you're sad?

Boom boom

Blog's been pretty dead, heh.

Not that I don't have time to update, it's just that it never crossed my mind to update it. Heh.

Chor 8 today - chor 9 tomorrow - Kau Wong Yeh.

Haiz, fireworks gonna go boom boom boom. No, more of like BOOM BOOM BOOM.

Economy.....ok la this year. HAHAHA.

Thought lately: Why care so much when others don't care? 

Been thinking too much lately.

Sem 3 [Y2, S1] huh, scary much.

Meh, by the end of 2014, I'll be gone from this place.

Sounds far? Not really.

The future seems pretty scary at times, as if time is moving too fast.

Everything seems to be like, *blink blink* another year gone.

Oh, I NEED my book vouchers. So much to buy:
1. Ortho book.
2. Pocketbook.
3. Therapeutic exs book.
4. Tendon hammer.
5. Stethoscope. *A bit too early, perhaps?*

And yey those books ain't cheap eh.


Pretty random update, till next time we shall meet again.